How to Write a Funeral Tribute: A Simple Guide to Sharing Your Memories.
You don't have to be a writer to write a meaningful funeral tribute
Before you start writing your tribute, I want to say something really important.
Writing a funeral tribute is not a public speaking exercise. There are no marks for eloquence, no prize for the best story, or funniest punchlines, and absolutely no expectation that you’ll come up with something profound.
This is simply a chance to spend a little time with your memories of your person.
A funeral tribute doesn't have to be perfect, polished or beautifully written. It doesn't need to tell the whole story of someone's life. Often, the most meaningful funeral tributes are the simple, honest ones… memories, little stories and words that could only come from someone who knew and loved them.
You might write about something funny that happened. Something they used to say. Something they did that drove you completely mad! A moment you shared that nobody else in the room would know about. You might write about what you admired about them, what you learned from them, what you’ll miss, or something you wish you had been able to say.
Write the way you would talk to them.
If you get halfway through a sentence and start crying, that's okay. Stop. Take a breath. Have a cry. Blow your nose. Have another go when you're ready.
If you laugh while you're writing, that's okay too. This is grief. There is no need to tidy it up.
Here are some gentle, prompts that may be helpful while you write your tribute:
One of my favourite memories of you is...
You always knew how to...
You made me laugh when...
I'll never forget the time...
One thing I admired about you was...
You taught me...
Because of you, I...
I hope you knew how much...
I wish I had said...
Thank you for...
You were at your happiest when...
You had a way of...
Whenever I think of you, I picture...
One of the things I'll miss most is...
You believed in me when...
I still smile when I remember...
One of your greatest gifts was...
Your love looked like...
If I could have one more conversation with you, I'd say...
I hope you know...
I forgive you for...
Please forgive me for...
I carry you with me every time I...
A part of you lives on in...
The lesson I'll carry from your life is...
I promise to...
I can still hear you saying...
If people asked me about you, I'd tell them...
For children or people who find writing difficult, shorter sentence starters can be even more approachable:
I remember...
I miss...
I smile because...
You loved...
We always...
You were really good at...
I'll always think of you when...
My heart says...
Love from...
For a funeral or memorial where people are invited to write a note to place in the coffin or keep as a memento, here are a few prompts that acknowledge unfinished conversations:
Something I never got to tell you is...
I hope you knew...
I want to thank you for...
My wish for you is...
Until we meet again...
Your story will continue through...
I will honour your memory by...
And please don't worry about having to stand up in front of everyone and deliver your funeral tribute all by yourself.
I can stand beside you while you read it. If you'd rather, you can have a buddy, family member or friend standing with you too. And if, when the time comes, the words become too hard to get out, I'm here as your backup. I can help you with the reading, take over for you, or simply stand beside you and help you get through it.
You don't have to perform. You don't have to hold yourself together. You just have to be you.
Remember: there is no perfect funeral tribute
The purpose of a funeral tribute is not to create a perfect piece of writing.
It is to honour a life, remember a person, and give some space to the relationship you shared.